Search for keywords by Ctrl + F. All things are listed in numerical order.
1. Taking up piano lessons just to learn how to play “One Winged Angel,” “Liberi Fatali,” and “To Zanarkand”
2. Ambushed by a malboro. Bad breath.
3. Enemy has 10000 HP. The damage caps at 9999.
4. Dude, Squall. She’s hot. Man up and dance with her already.
5. The Sending
6. About to kill a cactuar for exp and ap. It runs away.
7. Sephiroth just cast Supernova. Head to the fridge for a food run.
8. Accidentally pressing square when you weren’t supposed to while boosting your GF
9. Two steps away from your destination. Random encounter.
10. Just killed a behemoth. Forgot behemoths retaliate with Meteor before dying, and realizing you’re in critical HP.
11. Humming the Balamb Garden theme as you walk around your school’s campus
12. Pretending the marbles you played with when you were a kid were materia
13. Shirtless Snow
14. The laughing scene
-14.1. The laughing scene. In Japanese.
15. Grinding for hours on end just to halfway meet the statistics explained in the guide you’re reading on GameFAQs
16. On your tattoo wish list: a fayth glyph, Zell’s facial tattoo, the SeeD insignia, the Zanarkand Abes logo, or a L’Cie brand. Or all of the above.
17. Kefka is the reason you were afraid of clowns as a child. And still are.
18. Your party is in critical HP, so you use a Megalixir to heal. You also forgot your party is under zombie status.
19. You make a bet with your friend. The loser’s punishment: sit through The Spirits Within.
20. Tonberries are cute. At least until they get close enough to use Chef’s Knife.
21. Your party’s healer is always the one with the lowest HP. Ironically.
22. Phoenix Down on a knocked out member. Their ass gets knocked out again on the next turn.
23. One more out of 200 lightning bolts before you get the Venus Sigil for Lulu’s Celestial Weapon. You get struck by lightning.
24. Humming the victory fanfare upon feelings of personal accomplishment
25. PAL/International versions
26. “Mom, can I have a pet moogle?” “…A what?”
27. Orichalcum. O… Ori… Orikah… Orichaka… How the hell do you pronounce that shit?
28. Ashe and Rasler: match made in heaven. Yuna and Seymour: wedding from hell.
29. No, Yuna. Not even Spira was worth letting Seymour kiss you.
30. The random rule in Triple Triad
31. Spend the first half of the game leveling up Cecil. Only to have his stats reset when he becomes a paladin.
32. Kuja’s man thong
33. Either attacking yourself or fighting every battle in Final Fantasy II in critical HP. Because those are the only ways to get any decent HP growth in that game.
34. Feeling like the game really doesn’t want you to finish. So you’re stuck on the same undefeatable boss. Forever.
35. “I’M CAPTAIN BASCH FON RONSENBURG OF DALMASCA.”
36. Game over. Your last save was three hours ago.
37. Someone call PETA on Rinoa. You don’t launch pets off your wrist.
38. That sigh of relief when an enemy attack on your party wasn’t enough to knock them out. Too bad the game mechanics hold your attacks to the same standard.
39. What was the point of developing Aerith’s stats if she was just going to die?
40. Finally rack up bravery points. Lose them all in one combo.
41. When that one kawaii girl in your class claims she can fluently speak in Latin. “Dissidia! Fabula Nova Crystallis!” No, honey. Sit back down.
42. Spend all your money buying new weapons and armor. Find even better equipment in the next dungeon.
43. Dammit, I didn’t want Fated Circle. I wanted freakin’ Lionheart.
44. “You spoony bard!” -Tellah
45. “Knowing you’ll always be welcome, no matter how much has changed… that’s what having a home is all about.” -Oerba Dia Vanille
46. When Garnet’s ability to summon consumed more MP than the damage it inflicted
47. Shiva could be a freakin’ lawn mower. And she’d still be hot.
48. Dnonehk du maynh Al Bhed (trying to learn Al Bhed)
49. Drawing for hours on end to increase your stats. Draw failed. Dammit.
50. Knowing the etymology of monsters, summons and terms because you’re a zoology, biology or mythology buff
51. “…Uh, how old were you again?” - Vaan
52. Ride ze shoopuf?
53. “Sit your ass down in that chair and drink your goddamn TEA!” -Cid Highwind
54. When that one kawaii girl in your class puts on her Songstress Yuna cosplay and sings “real Emotion” at your school’s talent show. Badly.
55. Wait, did I just save? …Let me save again.
56. Your urge to replay anything before Final Fantasy X is hampered by your unwillingness to read
57. Back when you had to switch discs to progress through the game
58. Spending more time than you should be on constructing your paradigms, just to see what pretty names come up. Like “Salvation,” or “Mystic Tower.”
59. Healing the wrong character
60. Awkward HP values that make you want to claw the screen in anal retentive anxiety. Like 5001.
61. Unwilling to use magic because it’s junctioned to a stat
62. Discovering your old game copies. In the middle of finals week.
63. Damn, man. Rydia got hot.
64. “Choe-cobo?” …You mean it’s not “chaw-cobo?”
65. The “cheery girl” archetype
66. Characters with outfits less suitable for battle than anything Lady Gaga’s worn
67. When the enemy is immune to or absorbs the element equipped to your physical attacks
68. It’s not “Tie-dus.” It’s “Tee-dus.” Get it straight.
69. Going out of your way to reach a treasure chest. Only to find out the item inside is of no use to you.
70. Having only one left of an item in stock bothers you so much more than it should
71. That’s weird. A Phoenix Down on Aerith worked before.
72. No matter which way you try to look at it, the Square-Enix girls in Dead Fantasy are the protagonists
73. “Whatever.” -Squall Leonhart
74. Remembering your party is under reflect status after curative magic has been cast
75. Confusion: arguably the most irritating negative status effect in the entire series
76. Samba. Mambo. Techno. Waltz. Electric. Cinco. Fiddle. Odeka. Mods. Aloha. Ukulele. Brass. Dash. Circuit. Pulse. Cocoon.
77. Lady Yunalesca
78. Finished the game. Life has lost all meaning.
79. Trying to kill a Bomb in less than three turns
80. Trying to finish up your gameplay before you have to leave the house. There is no save point in sight.
81. Explaining to your black friend that darkness is a negative status effect. They call you racist.
82. The Prelude
83. Being one MP short of the required amount to cast a spell
84. Trying to defend your favorite game in the series against Final Fantasy VII fanboys
85. Using Curaga to heal a character. Even when they’re already near max HP.
86. Running out of CP right before you’re about to learn a skill or increase an attribute in the Crystarium
87. “This guy are sick!” -Aerith Gainsborough
88. Couldn’t steal anything
89. The enemy drains your mages’ MP. No Ethers left in your item stock.
90. Once upon a time, Tidus had black hair
91. When your overconfidence screws up your Quickening chain
92. Just what the hell is Eden supposed to be?
93. Trance finally activates. At the end of the battle.
94. “Memories are nice, but that’s all they are.” -Rikku
95. Finding out late in the game the reason you can’t get a character, item or ability is because of an action you made (or didn’t make) at the beginning
96. Having to heal the enemy and prolong the battle just to wait for it to make a certain action
97. Barely enter a new area. Random encounter.
98. Timed boss fights
99. Realizing Anima is a woman. Pain and Oblivion must be extreme menstruation mood swings.
100. The pandora’s box of crack pairings that is Dissidia
101. Explaining to your friends who’ve never played the series that the main games are not sequels to each other
102. Getting lost in the game while a perfectionist player is watching. They’re judging you.
103. Shifting to the wrong paradigm. Game over.
104. Trigger Happy + Catnip + critical HP
105. ”%$@#!” -Barret Wallace
106. Kefka’s laugh
107. Emerald Weapon
108. “Chicken-wuss!” - Seifer Almasy
109. Beatrix’s Stock Break
110. Rikku’s astraphobia
111. Moves that require button combinations. Lose all hand-eye coordination.
112. Continuously pressing X just to get through battles
113. The enemy is down to its last 1/4 HP. It casts Doom.
114. Acquired Yojimbo. Congratulations. You’re broke.
115. Spending all your turns and MP buffing your party. The enemy casts Dispel.
116. SeeD rank goes down a level. Curse at the TV and wonder what the hell you did wrong.
117. Going into an area you know has malboros. Immediately equip weapons and armor with the initiative ability.
118. Frustration that mounts so high you actually have to turn the game off and cool down
119. Spending hours on end watching limit breaks, summon sequences and spherechanges on YouTube
120. Your perfectionist gamer friend catches you with a strategy guide
121. “You’ll cry. You’re gonna cry. You always cry. See? You’re crying.” -Jecht
122. Playing while your parents are watching
123. Finished the game. Still don’t understand what the story was.
124. Lulu’s baby bu— …Nevermind.
125. Your love-hate relationship with Ultros
126. The End comes up during Selphie’s Slot. Blindly skip past it and never see it again.
127. Faris is a what!?
128. “People who want happy endings have to write their own.” -Paine
129. Nobuo Uematsu
130. Buff your party in anticipation of a difficult battle. The enemy dies in three rounds.
131. Acquire all 13 Espers. Never used them.
132. Overhearing the group of kawaii girls in your class heatedly debating whether Cloud looks better with Sephiroth or Zack
133. Diamond Dust
134. The Bevelle Cloister of Trials
135. “Yo, Squall! That’s my room up there! It’s sacred. So just keep out!” -Zell Dincht
136. Once upon a time, Basch fon Ronsenburg was Final Fantasy XII’s main protagonist
137. “Y.R.P. in position. It’s showtime, girls.” -Rikku
138. Ooh, I wonder what Cid is gonna be this time!
-138.1. Cid is like the series’ Mary Sue. He does everything.
139. Mega Flare
140. “Oooh… soft!” -Zidane Tribal
141. 10000 needles. The HP limit is 9999.
142. Limit break becomes available. Knocked out before you get a chance to use it.
143. “STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! KU-PHEH!” -Moguo
144. C’mon. Give Zell a break and let him have a hot dog.
145. Hellfire
146. Obtain the celestial weapons, Anima and the Magus Sisters. Final Fantasy X loses all difficulty.
147. Forgot to make an action you’ve been kicking yourself not to forget to do. You already saved.
148. Brother’s not-so-subtle crush on Yuna. Because you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins…
149. Accidentally healed the enemy
150. Religious affiliation, hmm… Can I put “Yevonite?”
151. “There ain’t no getting offa this train we on!” -Barret Wallace
152. Pay Yojimbo all your gil to attack. Kozuka.
153. “Ahem! There’s SAND on my boots!” -Kefka Palazzo
154. Unable to defeat a boss. Come back to the game a week later and kill it on the first try.
155. Come back to a save file you left months ago. Forgot where you are in the game… Maybe I’ll start a new file.
156. [Please use the auto-translate function]
157. I’m too lazy to finish the game. I’ll watch the ending on YouTube later.
158. Aerith’s smile
159. “You always said I looked grumpy, but those were the happiest days of my life.” -Lulu
160. Ultimecia’s speech impediment
161. “Pick spot. Shut up. Wait.” -Kimahri Ronso
162. Your main party is closing in on level 100. The other members are still at level 12.
163. Snow, what are you doing with Hope? That’s statutory.
164. Cloud cross-dressing
165. Androgynous male protagonists
166. The opera scene
167. Queen Brahne appears. Garnet must be adopted.
168. Final Fantasy XIII-2. That’s nice. Where the hell is Versus?
169. You own or ordered contact lens to have Al Bhed or Mako eyes.
170. When your perfectionist gamer friend tells you their boss strategies and insists there is no other alternative.
171. Enemies with the ability to restore themselves to full health.
172. Attacks that reduce your party to one HP
173. “Why is the Matron?” -Quistis Trepe
174. Boss fights with long cutscenes preceding them. All the more reason to raise hell if you lose.
175. Non-playable characters so irritating they make you want to smash their face against a wall
176. When the enemy shatters a petrified part member before you get the chance to cure them
177. When the Gambit and Command Synergy Battle AIs fail you. Miserably.
178. Areas with ridiculously high random encounter frequencies
179. Yuna + Doublecast + Flare + Ultima
180. Trying to explain to your friend who has never played Final Fantasy VIII why Rinoa’s in space
181. Zantetsuken
182. Massaging Leblanc. Your parents come in.
183. Crystals
184. Kawaii girl’s friend asks her what her favorite Final Fantasy is. “Kingdom Hearts!”
185. “Sin was nothing compared to diaper changing, ya?” -Wakka
186. 10 HP away from a game over. Summon your Eidolon in a last ditch effort to survive.
187. Voice acting: forcing you to realize you have been pronouncing everything incorrectly
188. Key-stis. Not kwis-tis.
189. When former bosses become random encounters at the end of the game. Because the game expects you to be so over leveled that they’re child’s play by that point.
190. Via Infinito
191. When your perfectionist gamer friend criticizes your party member choices. And will never let you hear the end of it.
192. Yuna’s Pokemon Aeon battles
193. “Reflect on your… childhood…” No bitch, my childhood sucked.
194. Lightning: the manliest of the 12 main protagonists
195. Kawaii girl talks to her friend about starting to play Final Fantasy VIII. “Why did they change Leon’s name to Squall? It’s so dumb.”
196. Your debutante ball’s court performance was choreographed to “Waltz for the Moon”
197. Yuna walks on water. Biblical references are inevitable.
198. Wanting to jump on the valedictorian’s back to learn their tricks to doing so well in school
199. You’ve accidentally called your money “gil”
200. When your friend who has never played the series asks, “If it’s called Final Fantasy, why are there 14 of them?”
201. Realizing Final Fantasy VII and X could be distantly related
202. Inescapable battles
203. “You sure are a keep observer for the obvious, kupo!” -Montblanc
204. The Pompa Sancta
205. A member permanently leaves the party. Forgot to equip everything beforehand.
206. Promise you’ll be out of the house as soon as you finish a boss. The long string of cutscenes that follow make this impossible.
207. Cloud’s Gold Saucer date. With Barret.
208. Gilgamesh appears. Excalipoor.
209. “Stay away from the summoner!”
210. Biggs and Wedge
211. “Kimahri think looking at road ahead is better than looking back at things lost.” -Kimahri Ronso
212. “I dreamt I was a moron.” -Squall Leonhart
213. Undead enemies. Phoenix down.
214. Ultima
215. “Sometimes Yuna would just stare off into the distance. I finally understood why. She was saying goodbye to all the places she’d never see again.” -Tidus
216. Storylines with family feuds at the center of the main conflict
217. “Not interested.” -Cloud Strife
218. Boys prettier than you could ever hope to be
219. “…Blow it to smithereens with a rocket launcher!?” -Selphie Tilmitt
220. “I fight for Spira. The people long for the calm. I can give it to them. It’s all I can give. Defeating Sin, ending pain… This I can do.” -Yuna
221. When Laguna checks out Cloud of Darkness
222. Enemy uses Throw Stone. Watch party member fall off the cliff to their death.
223. Encounter a party of flans. No one in your party with a high magic stat.
224. The party is all level 100. Level 5 Death.
225. Survived an attack that reduced your party to 1 HP. Forgot to heal poison.
226. “I found it, it’s mine.” -Vaan
227. Tifa’s orthopedic underwear
228. Getting hit by your own black mage’s magic
229. Realizing Cloud of Darkness has no real gender
230. Gunblades
231. When your party member gets knocked out while an action is pending
232. The trembling and adrenaline rush after finally beating a difficult boss that took forever
233. Discussing with your friends what job classes you all would be
234. “Ya know!?” -Raijin
235. Shiva’s snap
236. “I am simply myself. No more and no less. And I want only to be free.” -Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca
237. Healing a knocked out body because they fell while Curaga was pending
238. When your opponent decides to kill you after you’ve racked up enough bravery to finish them
239. Drinking game: take a shot every time Snow says “hero”
240. “We escaped with our skins intact, but Yuna lost something. I could already tell, her faith was shaken. Yevon had betrayed her.” -Tidus
241. Attained enough bravery reaching into the high thousands. The opponent has Carbuncle equipped.
242. “Moms are tough.” -Nora Estheim
243. Bringing in Yuna in Overdrive for overkill
244. Hallowed Bolt
245. Realizing everything in Final Fantasy XIII happened because of Vanille
246. “Well if you don’t understand it, try just accepting it. Accept nothing makes sense in this whole damn world!” -Jecht
247. “I have no musical aptitude whatsoever.” -Quistis Trepe
248. Finding out the final boss you’ve been working up to the entire game is a tree
249. When Zell really wants to take a peek at Squall’s gunblade
250. Drinking game: take a shot every time you like or reblog a Final Fantasy thing
251. Overhearing kawaii girl play Dissidia. “Oh my God, how can they have Leon, Cloud and Sephiroth, but not Sora!?”
252. Zalera’s scream
253. “Teamwork means staying out of my way!” -Seifer Almasy
254. “They say Seymour went to Macarena Temple.” -Tidus
255. Drinking game: take a shot every time Kain betrays Cecil
256. “Now it’s time we fight like men! And ladies! And ladies who dress like men!” -Gilgamesh
257. No such thing as a bad hair day
258. “Once Lady Yuna fixes her hair, we leave!” -Auron
259. “Command failed, Dagger can’t concentrate!” Well you better learn how to soon or else I’ll knock your ass out myself.
260. Yuna’s will sphere
261. Mesmerized by a yan’s cuteness. Game over.
262. Golbez takes the crystal with his pimp hand. Stand there doing nothing.
263. “…I… did it, everyone…! I know the stage got destroyed, but I performed… My dream band… was able to carry out my dream.” -Selphie Tilmitt
264. Larsa leaves the party. You just lost your best healer.
265. Esthar: completely unnavigable
266. “Confident bastard, aren’t you?” -Kain Highwind
267. “I’m a former GENERAL, not some opera floozy!” -Celes Chere
268. Hoping Thunder Slash will land a hit just this one time… Nope, nevermind.
269. Finishing off the enemy with an EX burst
270. Vanille’s orgasmic moans
271. “I hadn’t really laughed like that in a long time. It was only later I realized… the only was really laughing… was me.” -Tidus
272. Tonberry fell over…
273. “Chocobos are cold to humans who don’t look like they’ll give them any greens.”
274. Dymgehk du ouin vneahtc eh Al Bhed cu udranc tuh’d ghuf fryd oui’na cyoehk. (Talking to your friends in Al Bhed so others don’t know what you’re saying.)
275. Airships
276. FUJIN’S. SPEECH. PATTERN.
277. Limit break becomes available. The enemy inflicts curse.
278. Your entire party is inflicted with doom
279. If this is Safer Sephiroth, I don’t wanna fight Very Dangerous Sephiroth!
280. Fighting tough monsters in hopes they’ll drop something you’re looking for. They don’t.
281. “Listen to my story. This may be our last chance.” -Tidus
282. The violin solo during “Blinded By Light”
283. The Hymn of the Fayth
284. Once upon a time, Oerba Yun Fang was a man
285. Self-sacrifice
286. -ra. -ga. -ja.
287. Watching all the end credits just to see the scene at the end.
288. Finally beat the boss. You forgot to steal.
289. Fran’s armor. Or lack thereof.
290. Impractically place save points
291. Forgot to talk to the moogle on the dock. Chance at 100% completion ruined from the get go.
292. The game starts off with a battle. You panic because you don’t know the controls.
293. Intentionally leave the settings at the missile base alone just to watch Balamb Garden explodes
294. The Eden Grand Prix
295. Trying to kill a behemoth king before it can recharge itself
296. Activate EX mode. Unable to land an HP attack on the opponent before the gauge depletes.
297. “So this is my life now. We travel from place to place, and the days just seem to fly by. But sometimes I find myself stopping… I’m listening for your whistle.” -Yuna
298. “This is a fantasy based on reality.”
299. Your perfectionist gamer friend tells you a boss is ridiculously easy to beat. They lied.
300. Spending more effort healing your main healer
301. Ribbons
302. “You’re the best looking guy here. Dance with me?” -Rinoa Heartilly
303. Begin to furiously rotate the analog stick during Lulu’s Overdrive. Analog was turned off.
304. Hidden character affection levels
305. Scripted battles you were meant to lose
306. Finally killed enough tonberries to lure out Tonberry King. He kills you.
307. Phoenix Down on Auron to revive him. But… he’s unsent.
308. Rotating your female party members during Scan to get a panty shot
309. Quina and Vivi’s wedding
310. You bitch. That was MY EX core.
311. “Summoner Yuna, your will is stronger than steel. Tempered steel even the mightiest Ronso could not hope to bend.” -Kelk Ronso
312. Drinking game: take a shot every time Tellah says “Meteor”
313. Engagement necklaces
314. Finally beat the boss. Forgot to draw its GF.
315. When Shell halves the amount of HP curative magic restores
316. Equipment that significantly boosts one stat but negligibly reduces another… It’s not worth it.
317. Never willing to party with weapons or armor with the no encounters ability
318. Your most used GFs: Cerberus, Diablos and Doomtrain. And shiva. Because… it’s Shiva.
319. Enemies with immunities to physical and magical attacks… Then how am I supposed to…
320. The only reason you learned Roman numerals as a kid
321. Enemies that can change their elemental affinities. Scan/Libra is ineffective.
322. Trying to find monsters that have items or equipment you’re looking for. They’ve suddenly gone extinct or something.
323. Acquire Spirit Lance and Masamune. Never equip them because they don’t have the piercing ability.
324. Ambushed!
325. Attacks that can eject your party members from the fight
326. Spending more time playing minigames than continuing the story
327. L-i-t-t-l-e m-o-n-e-y
328. “I prefer the term ‘treasure hunting’!” -Locke Cole
329. Attacking confused characters. Because wasting a remedy or MP on Esuna isn’t worth it.
330. Saved in the castle. Can’t defeat Wiegraf.
331. “All those teachings… What were they for?” -Yuna
332. If you were the leading man, Balthier, you would have been made the leading protagonist
333. Cow abducting aliens
334. Open treasure chest. Goodbye, Zodiac Spear.
335. Load up an old save file. Spend hours on end grinding to pass time.
336. Berserk + confuse + poison = game over
337. Preemptive strike. Attempt to kill the enemy before they get a turn.
338. Ran out of potions at the beginning of the game because you had a nasty habit of overestimating the enemy’s strength
339. “All you need is determination. If you have that, you don’t need love.” -Lulu
340. Decide to continue an old save file. Disc read error.
341. “You know… for the first time, I’m glad… to have you as my father.” -Tidus
342. Drinking game: take a shot every time Cloud or Lightning says something depressing
343. Buy a motorcycle. Name it Fenrir.
344. Last chance activated!
345. Political instability
346. You’re the only one who likes Final Fantasy. Forever misunderstood.
347. “To tell you the truth… I worry too much about what others think of me.” -Squall Leonhart
348. Carrying the Crystal Chalice. Inflicted with slow.
349. “I can’t start my day without Dagger! Her smile! Her voice! Her voice is like a beautiful song… And her song makes her soar high into the sky!” -Zidane Tribal
350. Bosses you have to fight multiple times
351. Bushido in the Bedroom
352. Snow tried to save your ass even after you tried to kill him. Way to go, Hope.
353. Kraken Club
354. Finally beat the boss. The game freezes.
355. Bosses susceptible to poison
356. Dispel the enemy’s buffs. They insist on keeping them.
357. “You’ll make it. You got good friends.” -Vaan
358. Escaping X-ATM092
359. Highwind
360. Save points that heal the party
361. “I’m not here to save the princess!” -Layle
362. Someone joins the party. They’re either hideously under or over leveled.
363. The game numbering conversion that made less sense than American standard into metric that lasted until Final Fantasy VII
364. Leave autorun on to use the bathroom. Come back to see that you’ve been running to a tree this whole time.
365. “Disasterrific!” -Rikku
366. Engage battle with Ultimecia. She chooses the three party members you don’t have anything junctioned to.
367. “You are my living legacy.” -Zack Fair
368. Demon Wall comes to life
369. Character names dealing with nature
370. Realizing the significance of the game’s logo as you progress through the story
371. The enemy can break the damage limit. You can’t.
372. “Animals have no god!!” -Algus Sadalfas
373. Songs from the game come up on your iPod while driving while other people are in the car. They’re judging you.
374. The enemy is immune to silence. Draining its MP does nothing to stop its barrage of magic.
375. Blue magic
376. Tetsuya Nomura’s belt and buckle fetish
377. “Just one more thing. The people and friends that we have lost, or the dreams that have faded… Never forget them.” -Yuna
378. Unwilling to finish Crisis Core. Because you know what’s going to happen at the end…
379. Yiazmat’s HP count must have been a programming error
380. De Nam’s “worn bandana”
381. Slow petrification
382. “They have Shiva!?” -Ifrit
383. You play Dissidia 012 in RPG mode. Your perfectionist gamer friend scoffs.
384. Your friend picks up a Final Fantasy for the first time. They’re better at it than you are.
385. Aerith’s death was planned at the very beginning of Final Fantasy VII’s development
386. “How old do you think Cosmos—uh, never mind, it’s nothing.” -Vaan
387. Shrouds are essential parts of your boss strategies. Your friend is judging you.
388. The “main villain” you’ve been chasing the first half of the game is nothing but a pawn
389. You care less about 100% completion and more about the Mascot dressphere
390. “This is reality. No one can help you. Sit back and enjoy the show.” -Edea Kramer
391. Storytime with Maechen
392. “What a bimbo!” -Eiko Carol
393. Use deceptisol to sneak past monsters. Accidentally run into them.
394. Walking around with your friends. Try to walk in front to be the party leader.
395. Never willing to use your accessories with even the slightest chance of breakability
396. Lightning, there are children with parents who don’t even remember their kids’ birthdays. Quit complaining.
397. Edea’s parade
398. “Boom! Like happy festival fireworks, ya!?” -Wakka
-398.1. “You can cram your happy festival, you big meanie!” -Rikku
399. Religious affiliation: Jenova’s Witness
400. A boss has its own battle theme: a sign you’re in for a tough fight
401. “Bujurururu!” -NORG
402. Your friend brags on end how they can complete no sphere grid/junction/license board/crystarium challenges. You are unimpressed.
403. The Nihorem Combo
404. Ragnarok
405. “Good night, Zack.” -Cloud Strife
406. Final Fantasy IX: one huge inside joke to the entire series
407. Execute an attack with an impossibly long animation sequence. The enemy is immune.
408. Prolonging battles for far longer than they should take to draw magic
409. Sephiroth’s Oedipus complex
410. Played Dissidia 012 for the first time. Your equipment and accessories from Dissidia didn’t carry over.
411. Finding out the final boss you’ve been working up to the entire game is a floating spider
412. Finally beat the boss. It changes forms.
413. Ochu dance
414. You’re advised not to take certain actions. Do them anyway.
415. Immaturity abound if the series ever reaches Final Fantasy XXX
416. Consecutive battles without so much as a healing break in between
417. Unlocking alternate costumes that are much more… flattering
418. “Ho ho hooo!” -Bugenhagen
419. Walk near an adamantoise. Your controller actually vibrates.
420. “Snake? Snake!? SNAAAKE!?” -Rikku
421. Attacks that ignore your defenses
422. “If you come here, you’ll find me. I promise.” -Squall Leonhart
423. The magical sounding chime when you select “new game”
424. Random encounters so difficult they very might as well be bosses
425. Reminding yourself to change your equipment or heal status effects or HP after your last battle. Your forget and don’t remember until you’re in another random encounter.
426. Chocobo Hot & Cold
427. “Who died and made you primarch?” -Lightning
428. When Yuffie steals your materia
429. Quistis. He’s your student. There’s an entire division of the police force looking for people like you.
430. Drinking game: take a shot every time you don’t know what to do next
431. “Thou! Thou! Thou!” -Gau
432. Lightning’s real name: Claire Farron
433. “Welcome to O’aka’s!” -O’aka XXIII
434. Everyone reminisces for half an hour while Rinoa stands and watches. Forever alone.
435. Cast Flare on yourself to reflect it at the enemy. Reflect wore off two turns ago.
436. HP/MP stroll
437. “Gosh, bro. You sure know a lot.” -Moggy
438. Encounter an enemy you know has useful magic. No one has draw junctioned.
439. The 10 moogles
440. Can’t beat the boss. Wait for your brother to come home and ask him to do it.
441. “Why you care about small things? World very simple place. World only have two things: things you can eat and things you can no eat.” -Quina Quen
442. Realizing halfway through the battle your entire paradigm deck is ineffective
443. Accidentally triggered EX revenge
444. “I don’t like your plan. It sucks.” -Yuna
445. Rushing home to play Final Fantasy. The TV and console are being used.
446. “This is the 89th letter I’ve sent to you, though I don’t know where to send them anymore.” -Aerith Gainsborough
447. Rinoa is part of your main party for the first half of the game. She goes comatose.
448. “This is an age-old ritual between male friends!” -Zidane Tribal
449. Temporary party members you want to keep but can’t
450. Kain uses jump. The party is knocked out while he’s in the air.
451. The story switches to Laguna for the first time. Wondering what the hell is going on.
452. “All right, everyone. Let’s mosey.” -Cloud Strife
453. Your opinion on a character’s personality overrides their practicality in battle when forming your party
454. A random encounter interrupts your trek through an area. You forget which way you’re going afterwards.
455. “One Winged Angel”
456. “It all began when I saw this sphere of you.” -Yuna
457. Enemies that summon more enemies
458. Right 36, left 10, right 59, right 97
459. Grinding to steal rare items and draw magic. Zantetsuken.
460. Gravity-defying hair
461. “It’s not easy being this popular, you know.” -Balthier
462. When Bahamut upgrades your party’s job classes
463. Snow gave Serah an engagement necklace. He must have not liked it enough to put a ring on it.
464. “I hate having nothing to do. It gets me thinking too much.” -Squall Leonhart
465. The meaning of life: to marry a hypello
466. Side quests with rewards that don’t compensate nearly enough for the effort required to complete them
467. Required to battle with the party members you never used. Game difficulty increases ten fold.
468. “Boy oh boy… The price of freedom is steep.” -Zack Fair
469. Power drink + goblin punch
470. Where storming someone’s house and opening their treasure chests is somehow completely acceptable
471. “Son of a submariner! They’ll pay for this…” -Kefka Palazzo
472. Sneak attack from the front. Half the server switches to thief.
473. Limit bre… Desperati… Overdri… Tra… That one attack you intentionally put yourself in critical HP to get.
474. The first dream sequence
475. Painting moogles. Someone call PETA.
476. Accidentally set Mist on fire. Congratulations, Kain and Cecil. You’re arsonists.
477. “I, Garland, will knock you all down!” -Garland
478. 15 Puzzle
479. Reach the final dungeon. The screen exploding every time you hit a random encounter still scares you.
480. “Fools set the rules in this world. Just take a look around. It’s undeniable.” -Noctis Lucis Caelum
481. Inspecting every nook and cranny for a treasure chest you might have missed
482. Drinking game: take a shot every time Kain says Lightning’s name
483. Bangaas. They’re not lizards.
484. The most dangerous dungeons often have the prettiest background themes to listen to
485. Prolonging fights just to listen to your favorite part of the battle theme
486. Thieves obviously become ninjas
487. By the end of the game, your mages will inflict as much physical damage as your warrior did at the beginning
488. Choosing job classes based on how you like their outfits
489. Waiting for the chocobo to pop out of Sazh’s afro
490. “If your skin is ashen, your HP is 0, and you’re still moving, there’s a good chance you’re a zombie.”
491. Bring King Bomb down to critical HP. He runs and casts Renew.
492. “TURTLE!” -Exdeath
493. Finally beat the boss. You’re timed to backtrack your way out of the dungeon.
494. “I-I haven’t hurt anyone.” -Vivi Orunitia
495. Grinding for job points
496. Talking to all the non-playable characters just for a vague hint of where to go next
497. Beating Ozma without completing the Friendly Monsters Quest
498. “You wanna keep breathing? Shut up and keep quiet.” -Oerba Yun Fang
499. Primeval Brew
500. “I’ve… learned how to smile… Even when I’m feeling sad.” -Yuna
501. The walk to Castle of Ordeals with tougher than the castle itself
502. Summon monsters
503. Shadow would slit his mother’s throat for five gil
504. Bahamut vs. Alexander
505. “Yes, the twelve legendary weapons. They are weapons. They are legendary. There are even twelve of them.” -Ghido
506. Leave town for your eighth year of collecting myrrh. Your little sibling is still five years old.
507. PuPu
508. Angra Mainyu
509. “Wings are for people who wish to be free. They could never belong to a monster.” -Cissnei
510. “You think you die and everything will be sugar and rainbows!?” -Sazh Katzroy
511. Cloud finally joins the party. At level one.
512. That’s weird. Yuna knew all her white magic spells two years ago.
513. What happens at the Honeybee Inn stays at the Honeybee Inn
514. “Kurse all SeeDs. Swarming like lokusts akross generations.” -Ultimecia
515. Edward. Traumatized six year old girls are more effective in battle than you. Grow a pair.
516. Continuously changing the clock on your PSP so everyday is Bonus Day
517. Chocobo racing time: 0.01 seconds
518. “Tough… Don’t blame us. Blame yourself, or God.” -Delita Hyral
519. Characters designed with hoods. They’re never worn.
520. When Sabin suplexes the Phantom Train
521. Once upon a time, Final Fantasy XIII’s main character was almost switched to Oerba Dia Vanille
522. “Chill man, it’s cool.” -Laguna Loire
523. Drinking game: take a shot every time Steiner says anything close to “princess”
524. Inviting your friends to play Crystal Chronicles with you to make them carry the Crystal Chalice
525. “Whenever I’m in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me.” -Tifa Lockhart
526. Iron giants
527. Finally obtain your chocobo license. Inflation is so bad you can never afford to rent one.
528. Runic MT Condensed
529. “Do what you must do, the way you want to do it. Doors will always open themselves to those who do.” -Braska
530. “You’ve let your eyes betray your heart.” -Fran
531. Laguna’s leg cramp
532. Lustful Lali-ho
533. Auron tells Omega Weapon to “leave Spira to the living.” That’s ironic.
534. The w-materia glitch
535. Destroy the crystals. Nothing happens.
536. “There’s a reason why oppose rhymes with dispose! Kill them all!” -Kefka Palazzo
537. “THUNDAGAAA.” -Lightning
538. The Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark III
539. Arrive at a new town. Hit up the pub and play the piano.
540. Vaan’s spray-on abs
541. “I’m kupo for kupo nuts!” -Moguta
542. Attempt to summon. Out of TP.
543. When Terra calls Sabin a bear
544. “Cafeteria team, collect all the hot dogs and store everything in the secret shelter. Don’t leave anything for the enemy.” -Squall Leonhart
545. Restarting a mission because you got a yellow or red card
546. Drinking game: take a shot every time Genesis quotes LOVELESS
547. Putting yourself in a dire situation so your esper will perform its ultimate attack
548. Stars Wars references
549. Come across machinery for the first time. Immediately know how to use it.
550. Oh, the forests of Timber sure have changed…
551. Females with outfits one hemline away from a wardrobe malfunction
552. Drinking game: take a shot every time Lightning hits someone
553. Spending more time and effort preparing to fight a superboss than you did for the final boss
554. Do re mi ti la do re mi ti la do re do
555. “When a chocobo agrees, you know you’re on the right path!” -Snow Villiers
556. Sitting through all the commsphere scenes. Because they matter.
557. “I’ll be in your heart, always.” -Galuf Halm Baldesion
558. The astonishing amount of physics put into animating Tifa’s assets
559. “‘Cie-food.’ Cute.” -Lightning
560. When a party member steps into the enemy trap you tried to avoid
561. Zone’s stomach aches
562. Characters designed with half-skirts
563. Come across a piano at someone’s house or the store. Play Final Fantasy music.
564. “Aerith… Wait for me.” -Zack Fair
565. Na’mes and ter’ms with ran’domly placed apo’stroph’es
566. Learn a new keyword. Have no idea who to talk to in order to continue the story.
567. When Tidus tries to hug Yuna
568. Accumulating gil would be so much easier if Cid and Barret were forced to submit to a swear jar
569. The Girl Next Door
570. Yoshitaka Amano
571. LOVELESS poem
572. Finally get the Wyrmhero Blade. Never use it.
573. Forgot to give Palom and Porom enough augments to learn dualcast
574. “Uboar!” -Emperor Mateus
575. Physics that in the real world make no sense
576. “Words aren’t the only thing that tell people what you’re thinking.” -Tifa Lockhart
577. Final Fantasy orchestral concerts
578. Bhujerban madhu
579. Ninja + high bravery + brawler
580. Making your character and their assist your OTP
581. Rent a car. Never return it.
582. When it was still called Final Fantasy Agito XIII
583. “The only dependable thing about the future is uncertainty.” -Amarant Coral
584. Drinking game: take a shot every time you lose your mode of transportation in a freak accident
585. “Make it rain!” -Jihl Nabaat
586. The slave crown
587. <Hello!> <Party> <Do you need it?>
588. Clasko. You will die a virgin.
589. “What’s that nasty looking feather?” -Squall Leonhart
590. “You think our anger a weakness? Then let me show you… how wrong you are!” -Edward “Edge” Geraldine
591. Wear what might as well be a piece of dental floss. Unaffected by freezing weather.
592. Cid. If it weren’t for Shera, you’d be dead. Quit calling her a @!$&.
593. Your favorite party members are always the temporary ones
594. “Kiss Me Good-bye,” Angela Aki
595. Acquire dual wield. The game loses all difficulty.
596. “Let me ease your suffering.” -Kain Highwind
597. “Eyes on Me” is a top contender for your wedding song
598. Custard, pudding and flan are more than just desserts
599. Characters suddenly became less medieval and more scantily clad one Nomura took over Amano as character designer
600. Cid Aulstyne = Adolf Hitler
601. “That’s when I kidnap Queen Brahne, right?” -Zidane Tribal
602. Wishing you hadn’t sold all your components once you found out they were required for equipment upgrades
603. When Locke steals the salesman’s clothes
604. “Here lies Link.”
605. How the hell do you even pronounce Pso’xja?
606. “I wanna be a blitzball when I grow up!”
607. Jump from a height that in the real world would kill you. Land without so much as a shattered kneecap.
608. Barbariccia’s bondage fetish
609. Big “beautiful” Bro
610. Sky pirates
611. “I’d pick Final Fantasy. That’s my favorite.” -Mewt Randell
612. It’s not love until you piggyback your girlfriend’s comatose body to another continent
613. All targeting > area of effect
614. You bought a PS3 specifically for Versus. Five years ago.
615. “To be forgotten is worse than death.” -Freya Crescent
616. Drinking game: take a shot every time Exdeath mentions the Void
617. Cocoon has anti-gravity technology, an artificial sun, and a floating city. But high definition TV broadcasts are non-existent.
618. The main series seems to stick to one console for three games before moving on to the next console generation
619. “What a tasty morsel! I’d love to wrap my tentacles around her!” -Ultros
620. What 20 minutes of fighting can kill in battle takes but a single gunshot in a cutscene
621. “We did it! We’ve got our own ship! Now we can go to exotic ports, and meet even more exotic women!” -Desch
622. Final Fan Service X-2
623. [Save point] Access the menu and select [Save] to save your game.
624. Kain. Best friends don’t cock block best friends.
625. When random encounters and accessing the menu cuts into the timer you’re put under
626. “SOLDIER…the last thing Aeris needs is to get her feelings hurt again.” -Elmyra Gainsborough
627. Feeling obligated to fight another battle because you’re five EXP from the next level
628. Attacking your party members out of desperation for JP
629. Once upon a time, Sazh Katzroy was intended to be in Dissidia 012
630. Seifer’s romantic dream
631. You distinctly remember specific numbers because they were starting HP values for characters
632. Replaying the game when you’re older. Picking up all the innuendo and suggestive themes that went over your head when you were a kid.
633. “I once killed a hundred knights single-handedly… To me, you two are nothing more than insects.” -Beatrix
634. Hope puns are inevitable
635. Laughing to yourself when the game references past installments for recurring terms come up
636. “Have you… always been that pretty?” -Locke Cole
637. When finding a Phoenix Down was rarer than seeing Bigfoot
638. “How……do you put this on?” -Cloud Strife
639. Sky was your first taste of endgame
640. Yuna. You deserve the Nobel Peace Prize.
641. “It’s not a question of can or can’t. There are some things in life you just do.” -Lightning
642. Soft resetting right before you die because seeing your party stumble over and the game over screen taunting you will only make you angrier
643. Genesis Rhapsodos’ character design was based completely on and voiced in Japanese by J-rock singer Gackt
644. Selling something because of its high resale value. You needed it later.
645. Finally unlock mime. Never use it.
646. “I don’t know what to do… This is just another crossroad in my life, but, for the first time, I don’t know which way to go.” -Squall Leonhart
647. Needing a license to wear a hat
648. When your opponent corners you into the wall or a banish trap. Repeatedly.
649. Drinking game: take a shot every time Watts says “sir”
650. The tougher monsters are always in the forests
651. “When there’s a will, there’s a way.” -Lucil
652. When visiting inns was almost a necessity
653. “No cloud, no squall can hinder us!” -Zidane Tribal
654. Once upon a time, the weather-related naming convention almost ended at Final Fantasy XIII
655. An attack has 95% base accuracy. It still misses.
656. “When it comes to home and family, we never keep either as close as we should.” -Oerba Dia Vanille
657. You’ve conditioned yourself to think that repeatedly pressing the confirm button will somehow make the ATB gauge charge faster
658. Mob tears through your shadows. Try recasting, but the utsusemi timer is still at 00:15.
659. Minus four respect points for you, Rikku Coco. You go, Rikku Coco.
660. “Bah! Only a flesh wound!” -Adelbert Steiner
661. When the enemy’s one-hit kill attacks are more successful than yours
662. Ride a chocobo through the swamp. Midgar Zolom still catches you.
663. Landing a critical hit
664. “Young Crusaders gather ‘round! We’ll beat Sin into the ground!” -Gatta
665. Restarting a ridiculous amount of times just so the treasure chest will give you the item you want
666. Pressing R1 regardless of who’s attacking
667. How Yuna, Vanille and Cinque run
668. Your senior quote was something from Final Fantasy
669. When Dagger plays Mulan and cuts her hair
670. When Bartz gets stuck on the roof. For three days.
671. The guys’ reactions when Fang lifts Vanille’s skirt to check her l’Cie brand
672. Have the battle of your life. You forgot to record it for posterity.
673. Watching the opening sequence for the very first time
674. The world. It’s square.
675. “I wasn’t pursing Sephiroth; I was being summoned by him.” -Cloud Strife
676. Realizing the preparations you made for a boss fight were all wrong
677. Shelinda’s football headdress
678. “Bring my beloved Dagger to me!” -Zidane Tribal
679. Restarting after the first battle thinking that it was game over
680. Learn a new ability for equip a new weapon. Run around looking for a battle to try it out.
681. Tifa vs. Loz
682. “Kain! What are you doing!?” -Rosa Joanna Farrell/Lightning
683. Start a replay file. Sit through gameplay tutorials explaining things you already know.
684. Stealing Elmdor’s Genji equipment
685. “I’ve decided to take you as my wife, so I’m coming to kidnap you.” -Setzer Gabbiani
686. Vaan’s really itchy nose
687. Forgot to change your character set up before engaging battle. Either tough out the fight or forfeit and sit through the defeat fanfare.
688. Drinking game: take a shot every time a Wendigo plays basketball with your party
689. When encountering a Tonberry makes you wish you really hadn’t gone around grinding so much at the beginning of the game
690. “A lot of fiends here, ya?” -Yuna
691. Contemplating whether or not this is the right time to use your only Megalixir
692. Finding out the final boss you’ve been working up to the entire game is Yoda in disguise
693. “I turned myself into a splinter, waiting for just this moment!” -Exdeath
694. Never having enough gil to buy even a Potion
695. Grinding. Never stray more than five steps away from a save point.
696. Finding Gogo by pure chance
697. Drinking game: take a shot every time Mog says he’s tired and wants you to carry the Crystal Chalice
698. Enter World of Darkness. The last time you saved was in the Crystal Tower.
699. “Right and wrong are not what separate us and our enemies. It’s our…perspectives that separate us. Both sides blame one another. There’s no good or bad side. Just two holding different views.” -Squall Leonhart
700. A good night’s sleep is always more than enough to cure anything
701. Doing a quest you really want to finish. You have to wait until midnight in Japan to continue playing.
702. A blitzball match begins. Immediately go for the Jecht shot.
703. “Congrats.” -Lightning
704. Lean your head against the car window with your fist against your cheek. Pretend you’re Noctis.
705. Drawing profane images on Whyt’s face
706. Drinking game: take a shot every time someone you thought died comes back to life during the ending FMV
707. “…I’ll chop them off.” “…I’ll rip them off.” “I’ll smash them.”
708. Your entire party is inflicted with stop
709. When Mazra orders Worker 8 to beat up Mustadio
710. “Shut up.” -Dona
711. Your party escapes from battle. The enemies insist on following you.
712. Restarting the fight the second one thing goes wrong
713. You wish your school could fly
714. Status attacks never work nearly as well for you as they do for the enemy
715. “You’re my son! This is your home.” -Bartholomew Estheim
716. Governments and armies can’t take down the main villain. But a party of six can.
717. Eiko’s love letter scheme
718. Buy a motorcycle. Name it Shiva.
719. N.O.E.S.C.A.P.E
720. Finally have ??? element. Accidentally put the Crystal Chalice down on an elemental hotspot.
721. Dual-wielding shields
722. “Life… Dreams… Hope… Where’d they come from? And where are they headed…? These things… I am going to destroy!” -Kefka Palazzo
723. AP. EXP. LP. CP. JP.
724. 97% chance that mithra is really a manthra
725. Tidus’ face as Rikku undresses
726. “A pleasant lie, that.” -Fran
727. Cecil and Kain’s bad bromance
728. Getting desperate for gil. Nothing in your inventory has a high resale value.
729. Start a new file. Immediately switch the X and O configuration.
730. The moment you realized the Shiva worshipped in the Hindu traditions is actually a man
731. Cornering the last enemy on the field and waiting for everyone else to turn to crystals and treasure chests
732. “You said I shouldn’t ever lie to myself. I’ll try to be more honest with my own feelings…” -Vivi Orunitia
733. Unidentifiable accents
734. Constantly replaying through blue gateways to farm for KP
735. Didn’t time R1 correctly. The sound of the slash makes you cringe.
736. All the gil in the world at the end of the game. Right when you don’t need it.
737. “Dilly dally, shilly shally!” -Tifa Lockhart
738. Can’t go to the government for help because the government is the villain
739. I Want to Be Your Canary
740. “First impression of Snow? All talk.” -Oerba Dia Vanille
741. Most villains dream of becoming a god. Kefka actually does it.
742. No save point in sight. Turn off the TV and death threat everyone in the house to not turn the console off.
743. Japan is playing Type-0. You’re not.
744. “Running away and leaving behind the people you care about? That isn’t love. Though you might just want to keep them safe, shutting them out only hurts them more.” -Serah Farron
745. Cure a status ailment. The enemy insists you keep it.
746. Spike flail
747. Trying to learn how to whistle with your fingers
748. “D-do you have any… hot dogs left?”
749. You never understood how to use augments
750. Bypassing the stat leveling restrictions with the target-cancel bug
751. When the enemy’s magic bypasses reflect
752. The hassle of switching party members and exchanging materia
753. There’s beating the game. Then completing it.
754. Your favorite game is Tactics. Main series elitists judge you.
755. “I don’t want friends to die… or fade away. I don’t want battles where we have to lose in order to win.” -Yuna
756. Avoiding flying monsters like the plague until you learn Telekinesis
757. When Ultimecia blows away magic junctioned to your main stats
758. Reaching that one part of the game you hate
759. Some of the most realistically dressed characters Tetsuya Nomura’s ever created
760. Nobody knows men like Fran does.” -Balthier
761. Forgot to buy Vivi’s Octagon Rod. Go without Firaga, Blizzaga and Thundaga for the rest of the game.
762. Lightning has a nickname for her nickname
763. When Relm asks Ultros if she can draw his portrait
764. Finally beat the enemy. It doesn’t drop anything.
765. Time to play Final Fantasy. Homework begs to differ.
766. Mashing X through the Thunder Plains
767. “Err, there was no damage to the train from that, err, minor vibration…”
768. Heal up before a boss fight. Random encounter right before you reach it.
769. Drinking game: take a shot every time Kadaj says “mother”
770. Gilgamesh and Ultros: the series trolls
771. “How does the government get away with pulling crap like that?” -Sazh Katzroy
772. Using quickening licenses simply to double and triple your MP
773. Summon. Your timing was completely off.
774. Angel wings
775. Head to the Queen of Cards’ most probable next destination. She isn’t there.
776. Trying to perform a blitz for the first time
777. Complete Ramuh’s entire story to obtain Peridot. Find 12 on the beach with a Chocobo.
778. Sing in perpetually stormy weather. The sun comes out.
779. Nail bat
780. Reddas’ fabulous hot pink pirate shorts
781. Panties suddenly became an integral part of character design
782. The timer kills you before the boss can
783. Drinking game: take a shot every time Shantotto rhymes
784. Non-playable characters that stand in your way and insist on not moving
785. Lap dances from the strippers at the pub
786. “Forgive me, Rosa. Not all of what I did was because of Golbez’s spell. I just wanted to keep you…to keep you by my side.” -Kain Highwind
787. Tidus’ tirade against the Luca Goers over the megaphone
788. Drinking game: take a shot every time Fang mentions Lady Luck
789. Forgetting what summon you have equipped
790. When Cyan meets “the dancer”
791. Go fight Cloud of Darkness. You forgot to beat the mini-bosses.
792. The only time you ever used Carbuncle was during the first fight against Edea
793. 12:01 hours of gameplay loged. Goodbye, Excalibur II.
794. You don’t know karma until you fight a tonberry.
795. Trying to breed the right color chocobo.
796. Enter EX mode. The enemy assist breaks you.
797. When Galuf fights Exdeath at 0 HP
798. Kilika is destroyed by Sin. Send the dead and loot their treasure chests.
799. “You look like a bear wearing a marshmallow.” -Cloud Strife
800. You thought Agrias was strong. And then Orlandu joined your party.
801. Your heart stops when the boat music to Selbina stops because you don’t know if it’s going to repeat or you’re getting attacked by pirates
802. “Oh…sh…! …no way… AHHHH!!!!” -Laguna Loire
803. Afraid to die. Still take on life-threatening missions.
804. Checking behind clocks or Elixirs
805. Maps that only reveal themselves as you progress through them
806. Basch’s pot holder
807. “Hey, Tidus. Mind teaching me that whatsma ball sport when the fight’s over?” -Bartz Klauser
808. Steiner and Beatrix fighting back to back
809. Bituitus. Geiseric. Mithidrates. Syphax. Numidia. Zenobia. Attacus. Wladislaus. Vercingetorix.
810. Open a treasure chest. Mimic.
811. You thought Cloud looked like a chocobo. And then you saw Snow.
812. Mix an item. The effects are of no use to you.
813. Edgar’s chainsaw
814. Submit a really great Final Fantasy thing. Someone took your idea three months ago.
815. Cid and Mid
816. Spend money at an inn. Your party rests as part of the main storyline.
817. Finals week. Defeat a guardian force, route an army, and escape a mechanized spider to pass.
818. Gain 10 extra seconds in Chocobo Hot and Cold. There’s nothing around.
819. Tidus and Yuna’s whistle
820. Drinking game: take a shot every time Warrior of Light mentions the light
821. Running around in circles to recover MP
822. A party member lives in the town you’re visiting. You still have to stay at the inn.
823. Cloud begins to cast Cherry Blossom. Wait just to have the enemy’s Stop wear off and walk out of the casting area right before it happens.
824. “This little hamlet is too much “boring” and not enough “burning”… Torch everything!” -Kefka Palazzo
825. To Amano, everyone is blond
826. The enemy spends more time grinding on railings than actually fighting
827. Not being able to state your favorite installment without judging eyes scrutinizing you
828. Minwu leaves the party. And so does all your white magic.
829. On the verge of death. Have Kain spam Jump.
830. Age-old caves with naturally occurring stair formations
831. Exploiting Negalmuur
832. “It’s my name, not who I am.” -Hope Estheim
833. Visiting towns for the background theme
834. Finally beat Chaos in critical condition. You have to fight him two more times.
835. Rinoa’s ugly train model
836. “Hey, Boobs! Try that again, just one more time!” -Yuffie Kisaragi
837. When you realize who else character voice actors play in other media
838. Amidatty’s Bread World
839. Active Time Events
840. Tower-like dungeons with a seemingly infinite amount of floors
841. Drinking game: take a shot every time Tidus makes a complete dumbass of himself
842. Trying to time Smite or Scourge right as the stagger gauge depletes. Your timing was completely off.
843. Equip Blood Swords. The final boss loses all difficulty.
844. Waking up to the trail of blood inside Shinra Headquarters
845. Cecil’s matchmaking with Firion and Lightning
846. “My butt hurts from all this sitting… young…LADY…” -Fake President Deling
847. Protecting Banon and the frozen Esper from Kefka’s army
848. SO YOU THINK YOU CAN RIDE THIS CHOCOBO?
849. Dramatically orchestrated themes with ominous Latin lyrics
850. “‘Disasterrific’ is not a word! Say ‘disastrous’ like the rest of Spira!” -Brother
851. Being in cahoots with the werewolves
852. Stand thirty feet away from an enemy preparing a physical attack. Still get hit.
853. Programming Final Fantasy terms into your predictive text dictionary
854. 6:10:50
855. Lone wolf. SeeD commander. Closet card player.
856. The friendly enemies
857. “The Planet’s dyin’, Cloud!” -Barret Wallace
858. Particle Beam
859. When I was your age, tonberries were called pugs
860. “Nice gun.” -Lightning
861. The boss battle theme remixed for Super Mario RPG
862. When I was your age, there was a world map
863. 6 malboro tentacles. 6 steel pipes. 6 Remedy+.
864. Complete all the missions. Episode concluded.
865. Knights of the Round
866. “Liberi Fatali” at the 2004 Summer Olympics
867. Forced to restart from the last save point. Suddenly miss the option to retry battles in Final Fantasy XIII.
868. “Call me a treasure hunter or I’ll rip your lungs out!” -Locke Cole
869. Load times that last longer than the fights
870. Wars responsible for the main storyline
871. Cait Sith’s fortune telling
872. Battling the four Archfiends. Consecutively.
873. “You can’t do that. You love me too much. You do. Don’t you, Claire?” -Serah Farron
874. When a Coeurl uses Blaster
875. “You see, there’s an anti-magic barrier around the place. And I want to send you because you’re too stupid to use magic.” -Kuja
876. Develop a crush on a female character. It’s statutory.
877. The chicken knife
878. Drinking game: take a shot every time Anastasis says “dream”
879. Amano’s pointed armor, horn and cape fetishes
880. Catching the wrong fish
881. When Squall saves Zell from the Warden
882. “I understand animal words.” -Guy
883. Pop window appears. Time to do chores.
884. Pressing X through the Thunder Plains every time you encounter an enemy
885. When your party is so strong you kill enemies before you can steal from them
886. You tried fighting the behemoth kings and oretoises the first time you arrived at the Archylte Steppe. And failed. Miserably.
887. 100 hours clocked in on a save file. Regret nothing.
888. Having the upper hand in Triple Triad before the computer plays a card. Elemental! Same! Plus! Same wall!
889. Dodging too early during a chase sequence
890. Characters struck with amnesia or otherwise forgotten memories.
891. You wanted Cloud’s PHS for a phone
892. “If something were to happen to me, all the world’s women would grieve!” -Edgar Roni Figaro
893. Counting on a summon to use its ultimate attack. It doesn’t.
894. Spending more time than you should trying to steal items and equipment from enemies. They’re available at shops in the next town.
895. When Mukki gives Cloud his “bikini briefs”
896. Sice’s failed love letter confession
897. When you’re forced to kill off your aeons
898. Diakon. Gnoma. Leamonde. Leshach. Mardu. Salamand. Sylphi. Undin. Luxolid. Vagrant Soul.
899. When you thought you had to fight Ushumgal Subjugator with Hope alone
900. Once upon a time, Final Fantasy IX was a main series spin-off
901. Cecil’s bedazzled hair
902. Latin is a dead language. Except to Final Fantasy music lyricists.
903. When Edgar tries to flirt with Relm
904. It’s not love until you saved your possessed girlfriend from dying alone in space
905. Once upon a time, Tidus was a gang banging plumber
906. Spending half of your childhood wondering what the “down” in “Phoenix Down” was. And your reaction when you found out it meant a bird’s down feathers.
907. When I was your age, there were no such things as Phoenix Downs.
908. Attempt to escape. Your party chooses to take their sweet time doing so.
909. Getting frustrated over required items in dispatch missions
910. When Square Enix chooses to sabotage your wallet and academic career by releasing a new game at the beginning of a new semester
911. “These days all it takes for your dreams to come true is money and power.” -President Shinra
912. When your party is so strong you kill enemies before your favorite part of the battle theme plays
913. The one dungeon in which a party member chooses to pour out their life story to you
914. “Who’s this “wandering whats-his-face”?” -Locke Cole
915. Zidane’s table manners
916. Approach a crystal. Crystalbug.
917. You had no idea of what you were getting into when you entered the Southern Lufenia Gateway
918. When Laguna tries to talk to Julia
919. Warrior. Monk. Thief. White mage. Black mage. Red mage.
920. When Zack defeats an army of Genesis copies with an umbrella. Shirtless.
921. Kain vs. Dark Kain
922. Spamming Lancet on Biran and Yenke
923. Blackjack at the The End screen
924. “Wait a minute… I, too, have no parents…” -Ingus
925. Chainspell + Stun
926. The tallest party member easily gets knocked around by a girl two-thirds his size
927. When “Princess Hilda” tries to seduce Firion
928. Drinking game: take a shot every time Zidane calls Steiner “Rusty”
929. Fighting a character who can block or dodge attacks and counter them. And rubs that ability in your face.
930. Antilaws
931. Boost Eden to 250. Enough time left over in the animation to refill your car at the gas station.
932. Cloud’s identity crisis
933. Gau’s makeover
934. When I was your age, I knew him as “Butz”
935. “Gullwings! We rock you!” -Brother
936. Finally getting control of an airship
937. Lightning’s armor. Or lack thereof.
938. With every new game comes an even more complicated logo design
939. “It’s days like this that you get high on life! But you, sirs, are harshing my buzz!” -Gilgamesh
940. Finally sufficiently leveled and equipped to fight the final boss. It begs to differ.
941. “What’s a theme park?” -Noel Kreiss
942. Drinking game: take a shot every time Ashe gasps
943. Spending money on an Ultimania guide you can’t even read
944. Drinking game: take a shot every time Steiner shakes his fists
945. When Caius summons an army of Sinspawn to fight against Lightning
946. “Oh man, the moon… Outer space… My dreams…” -Cid Highwind
947. Drinking game: take a shot every time Squall crosses his arms, face palms, and coldly rebuffs someone
948. “The government is evil, kupo! Humans are evil, kupo!” -Mog
949. Ashe and Rasler’s wedding
950. When Zack asks Aerith out on a date
951. Snow’s proposal to Serah
952. “Cecil of the Red Wings is many things. But he is no coward. Not the Cecil who I love…” -Rosa Joanna Farrell
953. When Squall saves Rinoa at the Sorceress Memorial
954. The spring scene
955. Zidane’s return
956. The Hands of Time temporal rifts
957. “Who the heck is Lenne!” -Yuna
958. Did Kefka invite you to his barbecue? Then why are you up in his grill?
959. “I’m just not cut out for a princess, I’m afraid. Pirating’s much more my style.” -Faris Scherwiz
960. Drinking game: take a shot every time Time and Memory are frozen in crystal
961. When I was your age, I could name the characters and summons
962. When Palmer gets hit by the Shinra truck
963. When Zidane receives Cancer
964. Valhalla was based on Havana’s skyline
965. “Why, if it isn’t Sephiroth! Or was it Sephiross? Setirophx? xXxSephirothxXx?”
966. When Malboros were called Oscars
967. Fran’s nethicite roid rage
968. The Nibelheim reactor incident
969. Balamb Garden vs. Galbadia Garden
970. 30 people in a town. One house with a bed to accommodate all of them.
971. The Gagazet spring scene
972. Naming your party members after your friends
973. When you found out who Shadow really is
974. “Meanie Miss Farron! Meanie Miss Farron!”
975. Stopping an authority figure bent on destroying the world is more than enough excuse to build camaraderie among total strangers
976. The crack of Quistis’ whip
977. “Hmph. I knew you were too beautiful to be a man!” -Galuf Halm Baldesion
978. Grotesque monsters that combust into beautifully colored clouds of smoke
979. South Gate Bundt Cake
980. Drinking game: take a shot every time someone says “paradox.” Or when something happens because of one.
981. The one party member you neglect to level up
982. Drinking game: take a shot every time Lenna says “father”
983. How Zack is the only one who ever ages
984. The Lunar Whale
985. Seymour Flux
986. When Barret decides to not help you during the motor chase despite having a gun for an arm
987. This is a well. You might think that there is something to it… But in fact it is just an ordinary well.
988. The train mission
989. Knowing what enemy you’re going to fight by the area and how the camera strobes over the battlefield
990. Come across a blue gate. You’re short a Wild Artefact.
991. Ultima Buster in Kefka’s bathroom
992. Trying to level everyone equally. The main character can’t be switched out of the party and ends up 20 levels stronger.
993. “Mish Yoona, what can I do for yoo?” -Barkeep
994. Replay a game. It’s suddenly your favorite.
995. Fighting your way out of the Dreadnought Leviathan
996. “Cheeky boy, aren’t ya? We’ll see how long that lasts.” -Oerba Yun Fang
997. The Man in Black
998. Drinking game: take a shot every time someone says “monster”
999. “When Blank finally gets saved from the Evil Forest
1000. 1000 Needles
